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The stone of unconditional love

The stone of unconditional love, Rose Quartz
c. Michael Illas The Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle

Crystals have been used for thousands of years to attract and enhance love. Ancient jewellery was much more than mere adornment, the beautiful stones were often dedicated to the goddess of love, Venus under her many guises – Aphrodite in Greece, Inanna or Ishtar in Babylon, Hathor in Egypt – and drew love and devotion to the wearer. Although her reputation was light and flirtatious, amorous Venus symbolised much more than romantic love, she was – and still is – a goddess of lust and erotic desire as well as undying affection. Her stones draw passion to you, no matter what age you may be.

Traditionally, pink and green-blue stones belonged to the Goddess of Love but the oldest association of all – over 5000 years – is with the scintillating Lapis Lazuli, the deep blue of the night sky shot through with gold. The Babylonian goddess Inanna (Venus) carried Lapis Lazuli measuring rods which laid out a person’s destiny. So, if you want to draw love into your life, using Venus stones makes perfect sense. You can wear them, keep them under your pillow or by your bed, or place them in your bath, but the most potent method of all is to carry out a ritual with them.

Lapis Lazuli

Lapis Lazuli c. Jeni Campbell

Venus stones: Rose Quartz. Rhodochrosite, Cobaltocalcite, Mangano Calcite,  Danburite, Rhodochrosite, Green Aventurine (for love in later life), Almandine Garnet, Kunzite, Larimar, Sugilite, Pink Tourmaline, Pink Topaz, Ruby, Garnet, Tugtupite,Turquoise.


Rhodochrosite c. Michael Illas, Crystal Wisdom Healing Oracle

The attracting love affirmation:

 ‘I attract love into my life, my life is full of love right now, my life is full of abundant love. I am a magnet for love, right now.’

Repeat the love affirmation several times a day while holding the piece of Rose Quartz or Rhodochrosite. Phrase it in the now rather than saying ‘I will attract’, to bring it into instant manifestation. If you ask the goddess Venus for help in your quest, the affirmation is that much more powerful.

Soulmate or twinflame?

Before you ask for love think hard about what you really want. Most people are looking for their soulmate but a word of caution here. Soulmates are partners to whom we are drawn across lifetimes, often because we have unfinished business, lessons to learn or a promise to keep. They are not always the blissful experience we imagine.  Fortunately even this kind of soulmate relationship can benefit from the gentle energy of crystals but you may prefer to ask your crystal to bring you a different kind of love: a twinflame. A twinflame is your true soul partner, who arrives without baggage. A twinflame is a life companion who loves you unconditionally and with whom you enjoy mental empathy, emotional rapport, spiritual connection, unconditional support, friendship, joy  and physical fulfilment, someone totally compatible. Be very specific about which kind of love you want when programming your crystal.

The crystal you use will be the same, the difference is in what you ask for. A soulmate or twinflame crystal has two equal sized crystals, joined on one side possibly sharing a common base – which makes it that much more physical. Place the crystal under running water to purify it, hold it in your hands and ask that the crystal will draw to your side your soulmate or twinflame – whichever you have decided upon. Then put it in the love corner of your bedroom.

The love corner

Where you place your crystals is vital. Nothing is more effective at attracting and sustaining love than Rose Quartz. But it needs to be in the right place. Place a big chunk of this beautiful stone, which you have rinsed in running water to purify it and then held in your hands for a few moments while you invoke love, in the relationship corner of your home. This is the far right corner from the front door or the door of your bedroom. You can also place it by your bed and you won’t have to wait long for love. Rose Quartz is also a vital part of the Attracting Love Ritual.

The attracting love ritual

Rituals to attract love are highly potent. The Attracting Love Ritual uses Rose Quartz and Danburite but you can substitute any of the love attractor crystals. Romantic Rose Quartz is prized for attracting and offering unconditional love. Its effect can be surprisingly powerful for such a gentle stone as Rose Quartz is tender and passionate, erotic and exciting. Adding Danburite emphasises the twinflame aspect of love. This crystal packs a powerful punch into a small piece. If you want loving companionship, replace Danburite with Sugilite. But if it’s a hot date you are after, replace the Danburite with lusty Ruby or fiery Garnet, powerful attractors of erotic love. Green Aventurine invites passion into the lives of those of more mature years and enables love to be ongoing.

The crystals should be purified, dedicated and pre-programmed before use. . It is traditional to bathe and wear clean clothes when working a ritual and pink or red clothes are appropriate depending on whether you want romance or red-hot passion. Burning a smudge or joss stick prepares the room and you can anoint yourself with rose oil. Pink candles set the scene and appropriate background music assists your concentration. When carrying out the ritual, consciously make your movements slow, moving with voluptuous intent. If you already have a partner, rather than calling in your twinflame, ask that more love will manifest between you and that the relationship becomes the best that it has the potential to be.

Timing rituals

Anciently the power of the moon was used to enhance rituals. Rituals to attract something new into your life are best done on a new moon. Rituals to let something go out of your life are best carried out at full moon.

The attracting love ritual

You will need:

  • 4 Rose Quartz
  • l Danburite
  • 4 candles and Rose Quartz holders

Ritual: Attracting love

Place your crystals and four candles on a table covered with a silk cloth. Position one candle to the north, welcoming in love from that direction as you light it. Then place one to the south, east and west, again welcoming love from each direction. Ask that the light from these candles act as guardian and keep you safe, attracting the highest manifestation of love.

Take your Rose Quartz crystals into your hands and sit down facing your table (if the crystals are large, hold one at a time). Close your eyes and quietly attune to the crystals. Let their energy flow through your hands, up your arms and into your heart. As the energy reaches your heart, feel it open out and expand. Touch the crystals to your heart. Rose Quartz is a powerful heart cleanser and healer so allow your heart to be purified by the energies of the crystals.

Then say, out loud: ‘I am a magnet for love. I welcome love into my heart and love into my life’. Place the crystals on the table and pick up the Danburite. Say out loud: ‘I call on my twinflame to be present and to manifest fully and lovingly in my life’ [or, ‘I call on the love between my partner and myself to manifest to its highest potential, fully and unconditionally loving and supporting us both’.]. Sit quietly for a few moments with your eyes focussed on the crystals. Picture what your life is like when you have the fully unconditional and mutually supportive love of your twinflame at your side [or when you and your partner manifest all the love that is possible between you]. Send that picture out into the future, unrolling it before you so that you can walk that path. When you are ready to complete the ritual, get up and blow out each candle in turn saying: ‘I send light and love into the world and it returns to me tenfold.’  Either leave the crystals on the table, or place them around your bed.

Crystal Aphrodisiacs

Crystals are powerful aphrodisiacs, activating the subtle sexual centres in your body, known as chakras (see diagram on page xx), so that sexual energy is highly charged, inhibitions are removed, and love is given and exchanged freely. Your sex life is greatly enhanced if you and your partner share a sexual recharge, placing the stones on each other as part of foreplay or enfolding them between your bodies during lovemaking (use gently rounded tumbled stones for comfort). Aphrodisiac crystals also work well when tucked under your pillow or placed strategically around your living or bedroom. An excellent way to enjoy them with your partner is to take a crystal love bath together.

Aphrodisiac crystals

Pink Tourmaline

Pink Tourmaline in Snow Quartz c. Jeni Campbell

Pink Tourmaline                

If you want to spice up your love life, or need a little help in the love department, look no further than Pink Tourmaline. This beautiful stone stimulates your libido and encourages you to share physical pleasure with your lover. It is particularly effective made into a gem essence and rubbed on your wrists before bed.

Red Jasper

An excellent stone for stimulating your libido and for prolonging your sexual pleasure, Red Jasper energises and cleanses the sexual organs and is particularly appropriate for men.

Orange Carnelian      

A recharging crystal, vibrant Orange Carnelian energises the creative centres, overcomes impotence or frigidity, and restores vitality to the female reproductive organs.

Smoky Quartz                          

If you have any hang-ups about sexual matters, Smoky Quartz helps you to accept that sex is a normal and natural – and highly enjoyable – part of life. It enhances virility and cleanses the sexual centres so that your passion flows freely.

Rose Quartz                            

Opening your heart centre, Rose Quartz restores love and trust between you and your partner. It teaches you how to love yourself and to receive love from someone else. This stone is said to increase your fertility.                   

Red Garnet                                 

Promoting passion and increasing your sexual potency, Red Garnet revives and revitalises your sex life.

Red-Black Mahogany

Powerful Red-Black Mahogany increases virility and stamina, keeping you grounded in your body so that sex becomes a full-body experience.


If you or your partner find your interest in sex flagging, Variscite restores your libido, increases sexual energy and helps you to bring more unconditional love into the situation.


The perfect stone to use when old vows of celibacy have been holding you back. Pietersite resolves your internal conflicts and increases your stamina.

Virility crystals


Smoky Quartz

Smoky Quartz c. Jeni Campbell

Smoky Quartz: Smoky Quartz is an excellent stone for improving your virility. As is a Shiva Lingam or Red Jasper. Place the crystal over your lower chakras to cleanse, purify and energise them, or rub the gem essence over your lower abdomen.


Shiva Lingam

Shiva Lingam c. Michael Illas Earth Blessings

Shiva Lingam: a traditional stone for virility, Shiva Lingam traditionally brings masculine and feminine energies into harmony.

Additional stones for virility:

Red-Black Obsidian, Red Jasper, Carnelian, Zircon

Sharing unconditional love

Unconditional love is the most constructive basis for relationships of any kind. If partners share truly unconditional love it is mutually supportive and trust-enhancing. Unconditional love means loving someone ‘warts and all’, accepting them as they are without trying to force them to change, but it does not mean getting tangled up in their dramas and traumas. It is non-manipulative and non-coercive. It means seeing that they are the most wonderful person in the world (we all are!), but accepting that sometimes they may not behave as though they are and there is nothing to be done about that. It means standing placidly by offering loving acceptance whilst someone sorts out their own life, not doing it for them. It means saying: ‘I love you and I am taking care of myself by staying in a good space within myself’. Unconditional love sets boundaries, but for yourself not the other person. It certainly does not mean being walked all over, abused or any of the myriad forms of victimisation or domination that sometimes pass for unconditional love. Sometimes the most loving thing you do for someone is to walk away.

All crystals radiate unconditional love but certain crystals encourage you to love unconditionally. Wear Cymophane, soft pink Danburite, gentle Tugtupite or radiant Petalite on a long chain over your heart. Or try Sugilite (often known as Luvulite or ‘the Love Stone’). A Selenite pillar in your home ensures an abundant supply of unconditional love. Crystalline Kyanite is a useful stone to smooth the way for unconditional love in lasting relationships, for which it needs two stones – one for each person. The stones can be programed to enhance appropriate intuitive communication between the two people concerned and to bring harmony and unconditional love to the partnership.

Ritual:  sharing unconditional love

Selenite Eggs

Selenite Eggs c. Jeni Campbell

You will need:

2 Selenite or Rose Quartz eggs or hearts

Most potent time: new moon

Sit facing your partner in a softly lit room – candlelight is ideal. Each hold your crystal cupped in your hands and look deeply into each other’s eyes. Now close your eyes for a few minutes and feel the unconditional love radiating out from the crystal, moving up your arms, across your shoulders and down into your heart. Feel how the energy opens and warms your heart. Put your crystal on your heart and feel the love go to your partner’s heart. Now open your eyes and look deep into your partner’s eyes again, looking with the eyes of unconditional love and sharing that quality. Place your crystal over your partner’s heart and hold it there while your partner puts a crystal to your heart. Keeping your eyes and hearts open, share the unconditional love between you. When you are ready, put the crystals down but allow the unconditional love to continue.

Understanding each other

If you have difficulty in understanding your partner, or feel that your partner does not understand you, or you simply want to understand each other better, seek the help of Sugilite. This gentle, loving stone brings light into the darkest of situations. It is beneficial if you each carry a similar sized stone that has been magnetised to its twin. It is also beneficial to meditate together for ten minutes morning and evening, each holding a stone and focusing on opening communication between your hearts.

Intimacy and loving communication

To encourage loving communication between yourself and your partner, each carry a piece of tranquil Kunzite or the beautiful sparky Crystalline Kyanite and hold one whenever you need to have a frank discussion as it keeps things calm between you. The soft flakes of Muscovite open your heart to intimate sharing and dissolve doubt whilst Hemimorphite encourages open and honest emotional communication.

Additional stones for intimacy and loving communication:

Lapis Lazuli, Turquoise, Blue Lace Agate, Strombolite


Emerald has traditionally known as ‘the stone of successful love’, as it induces domestic bliss and keeps a relationship in balance but there are times when it beyond the power of an Emerald to hold a relationship together. If this stone changes colour, it is said to warn of unfaithfulness. If you suspect a male partner may be straying, gift him a Turquoise. It too changes colour when there is a danger of infidelity. If a female partner is the object of suspicion, try the age-old test of placing a piece of Magnetite under her pillow. If she falls out of bed during the night or calls out a name that is not yours, your suspicions are confirmed. However, suspicion is a negative emotion and is not beneficial to your relationships. It would be better to use restoring trust stones to help you replace suspicion with trust, your partner is sure to repay you with faithfulness. Repeat the trust affirmation each morning looking into your eyes in a mirror whilst holding a restoring trust stone.

The trust affirmation: ‘I am loving, I am trusting, I open my heart to trust.’

Restoring trust crystals: Garnet, Rhodonite, Kunzite, Rose Quartz, Pink or Watermelon Tourmaline

Watermelon Tourmaline

Watermelon Tourmaline, c. Jeni Campbell

It may, however, be time to recognise that this relationship has come to its natural end and that it is time to move on. In which case, choose stones that support your strength and encourage moving on such as Rainbow Obsidian and refer to my book The Soulmate Myth? for a tie-cutting ritual to release each partner to go their own way.

Healing a broken heart.

If you’ve had your heart broken and are finding it difficult to love again, let crystals gently heal your heartbreak.


Strong but slow working, Agate heals bitterness of the heart. It is particularly useful when the heartbreak is deeply entrenched and is accompanied by resentment or a sense of having been betrayed. It dissolves anger and gives you the courage to start again. Agate is particularly appropriate for the pulverising the bonds that bind your heart ritual. Blue Lace Agate is excellent for healing childhood wounds, as is Pink Agate.

Rainbow Obsidian               

Beautiful banded Rainbow Obsidian acts more gently than the solid colour form of Obsidian. It releases past pain, cuts the cords of old love, removes hooks that others have left in your heart, and clears emotional bondage. You may need to wear it for several weeks to complete the healing process.


Pink Kunzite is an excellent healer for depression following break up of a relationship. If your heart is full of emotional debris, tranquil Pink Kunzite dissolves it and brings in unconditional love to heal your heart.


Powerful two-toned Rhodonite is a useful first aid measure when your heart is first broken, and an emotional balancer that brings your heart back on line. It is useful when you have been betrayed and are set on revenge or self-destruction as it ameliorates these feelings.


Soft and gentle Larimar is the ideal stone for healing a broken heart or other trauma that may have closed down the heart as it restores playfulness and child-like joy.

Additional Stones for Healing Heartbreak:

Rose Quartz, Dioptase, Pink Tourmaline, Morganite (Pink Beryl), Tugtupite.

Bringing Love Into Your Environment

c. Michael Illas

Amethyst angel. c. Michael Illas

The delicate petals of a lilac Amethyst flower-formation introduce light and love into your surroundings whilst the womb-like interior of an Amethyst geode encourages compatibility and harmony. Amethyst is particularly effective if you need to bring a lighter vibration to your environment. Program one to attract more love into your neighbourhood.

Sending love to the world

Rose Quartz is probably the best universal love stone there is. Program one to send out love to the whole world, neutralizing terror and hostility wherever it finds it and replacing it with unconditional love and forgiveness. Picture this love radiating out from the stone until it surrounds the whole world. Touch the stone each day.  A Selenite pillar works equally well.

Rose Quartz

A large chunk of Rose Quartz is perfect for sending love out to the world c. Michael Illas, Earth Blessings.

Extracted from Crystal Love by Judy Hall, Godsfield Press and

The Soulmate Myth: a dream come true or your worst nightmare? Flying Horse Books.